What You Remember I Did by Janet Berliner & Janet & Tem Berliner

Author:Janet Berliner & Janet & Tem Berliner
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Crossroad Press
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY

Though she was embarrassed about coming on to Dan, Nan was also amused and gratified. There was something grown up about taking a moment in time–with no pretense at a past or a future–and making it hers.

Maybe this meant she was getting better, ‘getting’ being the operative word. She had a long way to go. She'd seen Matt since the incident with Dan, even slept with him, but it wasn't the same. He was distant, wary, and she couldn't blame him.

Lying in bed, he had asked her again about Tonya, with patent irritation, and was clearly not satisfied by her response. She had fallen silent and they didn't talk much about that or anything else until later, when she was getting ready to go home.

"I'm going to try to contact them, Nan."

There was no question that he meant Eliot and his family. She stopped, dangling her pantyhose midway between the rug next to the bed and the toe she had positioned to slip into its foot. This was something important, but all she could do was stare at the stockings and think how much she liked the sand color and that she definitely preferred reinforced toes.

"Nan?" He waited. So did she.

Finally she said, "It's the holidays."

"Do you miss Gary?"

"Of course I do. We had good times. We loved each other."

She took a breath, opened her mouth as if to continue and, realizing she had nothing to say, exhaled and resumed getting dressed. What kind of person had she become, that she could resent Matt's wanting to meet his daughter-in-law and his grandchildren? She should be encouraging him.

Unless, of course, he really was a child molester.

Even if he was innocent, which mostly she believed he was, from what she'd learned about FMS and RMS nothing could happen until Eliot realized that his memories were false and admitted it, or his father admitted that he was guilty of molestation. Thus far, she had found little in the literature to indicate a consistent trigger for either happening. She made a mental note to make a physical note to ask Tonya about that when she went back to see her.

If she went back to see her. She had missed her last appointment and not made another.

Nor did she and Matt have any new plans. He had mumbled something about Saturday. She had said something about the holidays. They'd left it at that.

For Nan, the approach of the holiday season had always been a relief. It signaled the end of her teaching year until the Spring. Although she coached her competitive students at the indoor courts, as much to keep herself in shape as for their sakes, the problems and complications of everyday life tended to be put on hold. This year, however, nothing could soften her issues with her mother and with Matt.

She bought early gifts and wrapped and labeled them joylessly, without the usual satisfaction of getting ahead of the holiday mania. She had lowlights put in her hair and bought a new coat to match, thinking a purely frivolous act might make her smile.

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